


Selling Friends

by misura



Category: 21 Jump Street (2012)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-23
Updated: 2013-12-23
Packaged: 2018-01-05 18:49:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1097408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How Zack ended up working at 21 Jump Street. (100% truth guaranteed)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Selling Friends

**Author's Note:**

  * For [airspaniel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/airspaniel/gifts).



> okay, so, Zack only has one line in this. I'm sorry?
> 
> Captain Dickson's got several, though. hence, the rating.

"He's like a demolition and communications expert at the same time," Jenko said. "Two for the price of one."

"And he's pretty good at putting wiretaps on people's cellphones," Schmidt said.

"Dude." Jenko frowned at him. "I just said that already."

"Dude. You said 'communications expert'," Schmidt said. "That's not - "

"What do you mothafuckers need a de-mo-li-shon expert for, huh?" Dickson asked. "You plan on blowing up some shit?"

"No, sir."

"Definitely not, sir."

"We only thought that - "

"Just in case - "

"Infiltrate the dealers, find the supplier," Dickson said. "Simple."

"Actually, I think that was - "

Dickson glared. "So which one of you asswipes is fucking this kid, huh?"

"We're not - " Jenko said.

"You are!" Schmidt said. "You totally are! I told you - I told him not to do it. Sir."

"We're _dating_ ," Jenko said. "And he's not a kid. Sir."

" _Thank you_ for letting me know you're the one taking it up the ass. That's some real per-ti-nent information right there. Now, did you have anything to report that I actually want to hear?"

"He'll work for free," Jenko said. "And he's already got, like, a truckload of cool stuff."

"And by 'cool', we mean 'useful'," Schmidt said. "Sir."

"Well, why didn't you dicksuckers say so first, huh?"

Schmidt cleared his throat. "For the record, I'd like to state that I have never sucked a dick in my life, sir."

"So he's in?" Jenko asked.

"Fuck, no," Dickson said. "What does this look like to you: a day-care center? Now stop the fuck wasting my time and get back to doing what we're paying you to do."

 

("I'm in?" Zack asked. "Wow. That's so cool, man.")

("Hey, no problem." Jenko grinned.)

("Yeah," Schmidt said. "Look, we even got you a gold star. Says 'deputy', see, right here? That's you, man.")


End file.
